Saturday, August 16, 2008

10% FRUIT JUICE..


Maz's Nip Crips. She was explaining to me that when she was a kid, little boys would go up to the little girls and twist your nipples really fucking hard and yell "Nipple Cripples!!!" A celebratory token for the onset of puberty.


Current art installation set up around the city: artificial waterfalls...?


Went to the Bust Magazine party with Van and Maz, helping Van set up her USnaps booth. J.D. from Le Tigre Dj'ed and tried out the booth for test shots. She got all bummed when nobody else took their photo after hers, probably felt akward that her photo was just lingering on the screen for a long ass time. Cause 5 minutes later she came back and was like, " Is anyone else going to take their photo??"


And then I saw this guy like a mile away. I wanted to go up to him and say something like.. "NAVIN!!?!?" NAVIN JOHNSON!!! IS THAT REALLY YOU!?!?!"


There were these crazy stilt walkers there, blazin up the dance floor with their profressional techno hoops




Is this giant friendly? hm...


The curtains DO match the drapes..










Hhhhiii Amy... Me and Maz tried to go up to her when she was about to leave the event and get a photo. But I'm really bad at fanning out. Bad as in I'll try to say something but it just comes out in whisper form and I get really bummed on my weird whispering.. She came out with a pretty funny book like a year ago that detailed things like personal recipes but also covered things like HOW TO APPROACH CELEBRETIES? obviously, i missed that chapter.

Friday, August 15, 2008

PASS ME THE POPCORN..


Things to do on your birthday:

Watch Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Paint your face in killer cyborg fashion

Finally go to the Bronx Zoo after 3 years of living in New York City

Rain

Obsessively watch the Olympics

Consume Alcohol

Thursday, August 14, 2008

AN ODE TO THE OLYMPICS..

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

HEY CHINO!


Spanish basketball team poses for offensive picture
By Chris Chase

Updated: 4:43 p.m. EDT
Spain's Olympic basketball team posed for an advertisement prior to the Games which appears to show all its players slanting their eyes, a move that could offend its Olympic hosts in Beijing. The ads, for a Spanish courier company, appeared in the Spanish-language newspaper La Marca.

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appears to be racist, eh?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

THE COUNTRY'S INTEREST IS ALWAYS FIRST..


Child performer lip-synched Olympics song
Published: Aug. 12, 2008 at 9:53 AM
Order reprints | Print Story | Email to a Friend | Post a Comment

Opening Ceremonies for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China, on August 8, 2008. (UPI Photo/Roger L. Wollenberg)
BEIJING, Aug. 12 (UPI) -- The musical director for the Summer Olympics in Beijing admitted the girl who sang "Ode to the Motherland" during the opening ceremony was lip-synching.
The BBC said officials made the decision because 9-year-old Lin Miaoke had the "flawless" look they were looking for that they said the actual singer, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, lacked.

Musical director Chen Qigang told Beijing Radio: "After several tests, we decided to put Lin Miaoke on the live picture, while using Yang Peiyi's voice. The reason for this is that we must put our country's interest first. The girl appearing on the picture must be flawless in terms of her facial expression and the great feeling she can give to people."

The BBC said that Lin has become a media darling since she appeared at the opening ceremony.

The British broadcaster also said Chinese news reports suggest Yang has been a good sport about the whole situation, quoting her as saying, "I'm satisfied to have had my voice in the opening ceremony."

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I guess the only good thing about the article was, hey at least they were upfront about it.

BUT DAT'S COOL, CUZ I GOT IT LIKE DAT..


wow..a bit nostalgic. fucking 90's day time talk shows.. pretty unbeatable.

EVIL ROBOT US'S...

The other night signing into my blog, I accidently wrote the wrong address into the address bar. I got all dyslexic titles on myself and wrote "getoffmyplanet.blogspot.com" instead of "heavydiscussion.blogspot.com".. As you might have noticed, get off my planet is heavy discussion's official header slogan, and my original ideal address, so it's only natural at one point or another I'd confuse myself.

Which leads me to my next fascinating topic.

" Dopple ganging Blogs ", " Evil Robot Us's " or "Blog Identity Thieves"



Imagine the internet being as infinite as it is, at one point in it's existence or another, there was this other chick who felt just as compelled to title her blog " Get off My Planet." Though I thought of this title as more of a joke, but like all jokes they all have somewhat serious undertones. So tonight I'm going to blog her blog. Because it's actually pretty rad. The author calls herself "ANGRYCHICK." Where as I settled for "Liftmaster." a name derived from my mom's old garage door opener that I still use when I go back home.

She describes her blog as the following:

GET OFF MY PLANET
General musings about weightloss, life and whatever else pops into my head.


Okay, rad. To boot, her blog is also almost 4 years old. So this shit is super o.g. legit. ( 2005, what were you doing? Probably NOT blogging. Me though, I think I was still into heavy chatting.)
Unfortunately, she only has three existing posts which include keywords " Reason, Fat Chick, and Purpose." But maybe it's not so much unfortunate as it seems a more gritty depiction of how life frustrated this chick probably was at the time and how her blog served more or a less as an honest, annonymous testament to her impromptu weightloss philosophies.

______________________________________________________________________________________________
FAT CHICK

I am 5'2". I weigh 231.4 pounds. That is morbidly obese. I weigh almost as much as my brother who is a football player - but who is at least a foot taller than I am.Now this is going to sound weird but it is the truth. I actually have trouble seeing/comprehending how fat I am. In fact, fat people gross me out in general. I see fat people in the grocery store buying groceries or out and about and I think - "How can you stand yourself?" When someone should be hitting me upside the head saying "Hello! Have you seen a mirror lately?!"

And most of the time I come back to reality and realize that I probably look just like the person I am judging but sometimes I actually rationalize my feelings of disgust and think, "Well I am going on a diet tomorrow so I am really not like that person."So I am thinking that there is a chance that I have a problem with attaching the reality of what my body really looks like to the version of me in my head. That's one of the main reasons that I am blogging this because I how that if I blog on it daily I can keep in touch with the reality.

Origin

Now I don’t' want to do a blame game thing here but the fact is that I have always felt fat. I know that I have trouble "seeing" my current reality because I've always felt, emotionally, as fat as I am physically. I've always had trouble judging the reality of my weight. I am not sure when it happened exactly but when I was in high school I was really self-conscience of how I looked - like everyone. I was 128 lbs and muscular because of sports. I actually thought that I was obese. The bad thing is that since I thought I was so fat - when I did eventually start getting fat - I had no real basis to judge. My body was beginning to look to me how it always felt.

Now

And you know what? There was only one time in my life that I really felt balanced about my body. That is what I am really striving for with my weightless effort. I honestly don't care what the numbers on the scale say - as long as I can get that feeling back. The feeling of healthiness and the feeling that I am attractive. I want to achieve a healthy weight for me and general health and wellness. I currently have high cholesterol and since heart disease runs in my family it's a bad thing to have. So I am starting on Monday. I would say that I am starting tonight but I want a couple of days to prepare my house for my "new life". I am actually excited to start. This is the first part of the rest of my life!!
posted by AngryChick at 6:28 PM 0 comments

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It's kind of weird when you're on the internet writing, I'm suprised anyone can understand me sometimes. Like what goes on in your head can be so fucking confusing that to put yout thoughts into some linear, readable format for others can just as easily come across as bizarre and cryptic. You basically feel like you're talking to yourself. And you probably are, but the chances are more likely that some stranger will eventually stumble upon your seemingly insignificant personal manifestos that you write to yourself at like 1AM. Even if it is by accident. Like the one I just mentioned. And maybe one day the internet is just going to be a graveyard of potentially awesome web addresses and blog names but the people that started them got super lazy and quit. I used to try to keep tons of journals when I was younger but the problem with me is that I can never keep anything up. But with the internet so easy to access, shit like this can be a constant work in progress, a dormant archive of words that I'll only be embarassed by in the future. What can I say? I am probably the maker of my own mental undoings..

Sunday, August 10, 2008

IF YOU LOSE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING..

CHERRY HILL, N.J., July 20 (UPI) -- New Jersey Turnpike workers had to cope Saturday with thousands of honeybees that fell off the back of a truck.
Tim Schuler, the beekeeper for the state Department of Agriculture, was at a beekeepers' picnic when he got the call to come and deal with the swarm in Cherry Hill, Fox29 in Philadelphia reported.

Schuler said the hive appeared to be a nucleus hive, one used to transport bees to be used to start a new colony.

Joseph Orlando, a spokesman for the New Jersey Turnpike Authority, said no one had reported a lost beehive by late Saturday. He said items lost on the turnpike that have gone unclaimed in the past have included boats and a horse.

Schuler said he planned to drop the hive off at the house of a beekeeping friend. He said the two of them would wait to see if the queen bee survived. If she did not, they might combine the swarm with another hive.


Remember this older ad from the subway? I mean if someone could report a missing prosthetic leg or a yo-yo, they could probably add on a bee hive, a lost horse, and several boats to the list..

LATE NIGHT SNACKS..


sometimes you work all day after a night of near-alcohol induced "plateuing" which i would describe as the point in your evening when more drinks will not get you any drunker, but only sicker the next day. it's usually a lose/lose situation and even when i do decide to quit while i'm ahead i still end up spearheading afterhours public shitshows. i kind of am starting to believe that the world is divided into two different kinds of drinkers: people that can drink forever consecutively and never get physically sick.. or people that can drink for a few hours fine but when they finally choose to stop sitting after endless rounds they blackout and somehow wake up in their own bed with fresh puke in a discarded shoebox.. that they find days later. it's quite clear which category i belong to. i mean it's easy to find yourself in someone else's bed when you're on pukeybrain autopilot, finding yourself in your own bed is pretty damn favorable. like i'm obviously not a handicap dog that can just "find" my way home. but then again maybe when i'm that tanked i have an extraordinary sense of smell and can smell the ghetto pink urinal cakes in my building from manhattan. god, they smell fucking awful.

but whatever, last night, i called it quits at 3:30, got in a cab on canal street and directed the cabbie to my house. i live in south williamsburg, but people would argue that it is actually bushwick, and has only been rezoned for gentrification purposes. anyways, i am soaked with redbull and yeager, head to toe. the foul sugary stench of stale redbull in my hair and gershon mosely sized alcoholic sweat pools on both sides of my t shirt are enough to make me want to give up on life. sometimes i hate my friends for being so trife. but then i get over it after i realize i just need a shower really, really bad. i think being that physically later'd when i'm not 110% into it forms borderline anxiety attacks in my brain.

all i wanted to do was take a fucking shower but instead my cab driver speeds over the brooklyn bridge when i wanted to go over the disneyburg bridge since i live right off the first exit. okay maybe i have control issues and it might be possible to go via brooklyn bridge and then gallabant on local streets to eventually get to where i need to be, but i'm almost positive it will cost me a few more dollars for those extra downtown brooklyn stoplights. it's 3am on a friday night and i feel like i've become an unnerving cyclone of anxiety.

I just want to go HOME. (without paying more than i should) shit, like ANY baller on a budget!!!

At this point I hold it down and say " look I'm not paying to go this route because I told you I lived right off the Williamsburg Bridge," the dude gets all psychotic U-turny with his cab as he tries to argue that it would be the same, accusing me of not trying alternative routes. Alternative routes? Call me a fucking bitch, but I don't want to try alternative routes at 3:30 A.M. I have a date with a bar of soap, so please FUCK OFF and bring me back to whereever it was that I was before YOU complicated my SEEMINGLY SIMPLE plan to go home. Not to mention on the way back to the city on the bridge, I thought he was going to fucking end up having one of those carnage cabs that have tricky detailings like the locks turn into razorblades and you can't get out of the car or something. So I texted my friend's his cab i.d. number and name just incase I never made it to the shower.

i don't know what i'm talking about anymore, i'm so tired, i think my brain is on animal farts.