Friday, March 13, 2009


EAT YOUR VITAMINS



shooting my 2015 dress shoe catalogue. in stores never. finally getting together photos of shoes i made over the course of two years. i figure paying someone to build me an expensive website is way out of my project budget which is at $0. so i figure making up another free blogspot to host another party of weird ideas would be more economical.hopefully with a new industrial machine for my apartment, i will be making more shoes in different sizes, as well as other leather type goods that i find useful and cute. by then i'll be ready to "take it to the streets. really show this economy who's boss, you know?".but we'll see. you can only talk so much shit until you see how good your sweatshop really is. i'll be posting all of the photos soon.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009



you won't see me. i found my new hobby. led zeppelin piano covers are pretty much where i want to be. i miss playing piano, but it's always nice to see fifteen year olds shredding online. maybe if i had a clue when i was younger i'd realize i could have played radiohead at my recital, instead of serenade in G.

JIL SANDER FOR HEAVYDISCUSSION





Sike, but really. these little guys are only TWO-HUNDRED-DOLLARS. such bullshit, but a good idea. i might have to totally rip it off. you know, cause i don't want to get ripped off. but maybe i'd add a cute geometric bottle opener instead, if i had access to a stockpile of such a thing.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


wildman


SOMETIMES YOU WONDER IF IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE THAT WHILE YOU'RE AT YOUR FRIENDS BAR, AND TAKING PHOTOS OF DOUSCHEBAGS THAT DON'T TIP BARTENDERS FOR TEN BUDWEISERS, THE STUPID BITCH IN DECORATED SPECTACLES ENDS UP TRYING TO FIGHT YOU IN THE TOILET APPROXIMATELY 30 MINUTES LATER. NOT EVEN A COUPLE OF MINUTES INTO PEE TIME, THE BROKEN TOILET DOOR AT MOTORCITY FLIES OPEN AND I'M TRYING TO HOLD THAT SHIT CLOSED BECAUSE IT AIN'T TIME TO GET OFF THE FUCKING CAN YET. BUT WITH MY NINJA REFLEXES, I END UP GETTING MY PANTS UP AND ZIPPED AND BY THE TIME THIS CUNT RUDELY STICKS HER HEAD INTO THE BATHROOM. I WAS ALREADY LIKE , "BITCH. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? I'M IN THE BATHROOM STILL." SMELLING THE SCENT OF A DRUNK BITCH THAT HAS EVERYTHING TO PROVE AND ZERO REASONING SKILLS, I EDGE HER OUT OF THE BATHROOM, SINCE I DO NOT PREFER TO CONFRONT BABBLING BAFFOONS IN PLACES WHERE I HAVEN'T FLUSHED YET.



banned


BITCH IS ALL UP IN MY FACE, AND SINCE I AM NOT TRYING TO REINFORCE THIS ALMOST NEGATIVE, ANNOYING, REPUTATION THAT I ALWAYS GET INTO FIGHTS, I LOOK AT HER COCK EYES AND REALIZE HOW FUNNY IT IS I AM THIS CLOSE TO A BITCH THAT HAS NO IDEA THAT I WILL RIP THE FLESH OFF HER FACE.SERIOUSLY, THE BEST WAY TO ENTERTAIN THESE TYPES OF SITUATIONS IN MY EXPERIENCE IS GOING FOR THE GLASSES. YOU'RE NOT THROWING THE FIRST PUNCH, BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY STILL IMPLYING THAT IT'S GO TIME. SEE, I NEVER THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, IT'S A RULE. BECAUSE THEN I DON'T HAVE THAT SAME INTRINSIC THIRST FOR GEEK BLOOD THAT ENVELOPS ME WHEN THESE THINGS TRANSPIRE. IT'S ALSO AN AUTOMATIC UPPER HAND EVEN IF I'M SCRAPPING WITH A BIG BLACK DUDE. AND THAT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. the upper hand being that there really is no upper hand when you're scrapping with a big black dude.



NEEDLESS TO SAY, I REALLY WANTED TO POWER STOMP HER GLASSES AS WILDMAN CONVINIENTLY GOT BETWEEN US. SHE WENT ABOUT AS FUCKING CRAZY AS DARYL HANNAH DID IN KILL BILL WHEN HER GOOD EYE GETS STEALTHILY RIPPED OUT BY UMA THURMAN. IN REAL LIFE THOUGH, IT'S PRETTY AWESOME TO BULLY BULLIES. BUT I'VE ALREADY STOMPED GLASSES BEFORE, AND TO SEE HER GO THAT NUTS WAS ENTIRELY FULFILLING FOR ME IN ITSELF. I JUST STOOD THERE AND FUCKING LAUGHED SO HARD AT HOW RIDICULOUS THIS BITCH WAS AND PASSED THE GLASSES BACK TO WILDMAN.



AS OUT OF RESPECT FOR THE ESTABLISHMENT AND MY FRIENDS THAT WERE WORKING THERE I JUST LEFT AND PROCEEDED ON WITH THE REST OF MY NIGHT AT A DIFFERENT BAR. NOT SO IRONICALLY, I HEAR THAT LATER SHE REFUSED TO LEAVE, AND EVENTUALLY THE BAR HAD TO GET THE COPS TO COME TO ARREST HER AND THROW HER IN THE FUCKING DRUNK TANK. WHAT A SHITTY CUNT.