Friday, May 15, 2009
You were born on Wednesday on 15.August.1984 and you think this is your oldest day of your life history but you are sadly wrong. Let's surprise you:
10.October.1983, Monday, (Your birthday -310 days):
On 10.October.1983, Monday, your father has produced the semen that will be half of you soon.
He produced 1000 sperms every second of his life and you will be be lucky one out of 500 million sperm he sent on their way in the conceivement. You may find interesting to know that if he had drunk (or not drunk) coffee on this Monday morning, you might born completely as someone else (for instance in the opposite sex) as kafein changes the speed of male sperms.
25.October.1983, Tuesday (Your birthday -295 days):
Today your mother ad her last menstrual cycle and started building up the egg, that will be the other half of you.
After today, she will not have this cycle again for a very long time (thanks to you!). She spent Tuesday as moody, anxious, short-tempered and you should be glad, you were not around her that day!
9.November.1983, Wednesday (Your birthday -280 days):
Your mother's egg is ready to build the other half of you and your father and your mother got together to make you.
But there is still no "you" around so don't get excited much. It can take several hours for your father's sperm to reach your mother's egg and now t is just on its way out.
10.November.1983, Thursday (Your birthday -279 days):
Out of 500 million sperm on their way to your mother's egg, the sperm which built you has won the race by coming first and the sperm and the egg is became one to make your very first cell. Do you see how lucky your half (the sperm) be by winning coming up first among 500 million other rivals? Never tell you are not lucky anymore!
We can call Thursday, 10.November.1983 as your "first day alive" because this is when you are a living entity, an embryo, congratulations! Although you are just a 1 cell creature today your unique DNA is also formed so your future destiny like your sex, height, physical apperance, intelligence, chatacteristic and vulnability to certain dissesases is already been determined.
24.November.1983, Thursday (Your birthday -265 days):
If your mother is an intelligent women, she would have suspected that she is pregnant at 24.November.1983, Thursday. She is not very sure yet but she is suspicious. We hope she was excited and joyed, not worried.
1.December.1983, Thursday (Your birthday -258 days):
Today your mother is telling your father about her pregrancy and he is celebrating to be a daddy!
Day 1.December.1983, Thursday is also important in that, your heart has pumped for the first time today. We don't know if it is a coincedence that your father learned about you in the very day, your heart first pumped!
15.February.1984, Wednesday (Your birthday -182 days):
Your parents could have lawfully got an abortion until 15.February.1984, Wednesday so this is also an important day of your life. Today they decided you should live!
We are glad they didn't otherwise, we'd lose one site visitor in pokemybirthday.com.
15.August.1984, Wednesday(Your birthday):
You are born to a cruel world. Happy birthday little buddy! We hope you remember to enjoy your life which was a big journey from day minus 310 to today.
Some Interesting Facts About Your Life
Born on 15.August.1984? Here is some interesting facts about your life:
Your lucky days are Wednesday (Conceivement date, Your parents decided to not to have an abortion, You were born) and Thursday (Your first cell is built, Your mother suspects she is pregnant, Your heart beat for the first time).
You are 24 years 39 weeks 6 days 1 hour 26 minutes 38 seconds old.
You will receive your next birthday gift in 13 weeks 22 hours 33 minutes 22 seconds later.
If your hair were never cut since 15.August.1984, it would be 3.607 m. today.
If your nails were never cut since 15.August.1984, they would be 8.949 cm. today.
An apple tree seeded on 15.August.1984, bore 2,197.854 kg. apple till today.
Its contribution to economy is $8,769.4 and it fed 3,688 people. We hope that in your life you, as a human being, achieved more than that poor apple tree.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Joe Wong is not a genius. He was a miracle, but that ended soon after birth. However, Joe Wong has come a long way from a slimy fertilized egg in China to a unique comedian with a dry sense of humor in America .
Joe Wong is one of the best known comedians in the New England area and is a favorite at comedy clubs, corporate functions, fundraisers and colleges.
Joe Wong is not in this picture. Taken from JoeWongComedy.com
This guy is awkward as shit but it works for me. The jokes I find really funny because though he is foreign born, and by many indications fulfills the whole stereotypical smart, nerdy, asian chemist thing, he is remarkably dry yet optimistic and quirky. I mean how many nerdy asian guys with thick accents find enjoyment in cleverly vocalizing their odd assimilation experiences? not many. and even fewer actually succeed in pleasing humor. there are a lot of asian american comedians who i find cheesy and terrible. comedians who come from ethnic backgrounds can obviously use their unique upbringings to present interesting perspectives and jokes, but when people just use the whole my mom is a crazy asian lady that sounds uneducated and demonic, it gets old. needless to say with time, those kinds of unoriginal sets reinforce stereotypes more than anything. joe wong's got a leg up on all those bitches.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Today this guy came in the shop looking for some chukka lows. I asked him what size he was and he told me 7.5 inches. Let me illustrate that this man was burly as fuck, tall, and definitely didn't wear middle school boy sized shoes. He was obviously not talking about his shoe size. so I said "no, your shoe size." and he confirmed my suspicions by saying," oh well that's my cock size. just incase you wanted to know." Great. No I didn't want to know that. So He bought some shoes and left with his donkey dick in his hands. weirdo.
Double dipped by CURBS ONLY at 6:04 PM