Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
A friend of mine turned me on to Urbandictionary.com. Maybe it was unintentional, but it was my only choice for not being able to understand threads of a conversation. I'm trying to figure out if 27 is the age where I am actually old and clueless. I'm clueless enough I guess. I've also been living in New York City for six years and the people I'm around are not like being around people that speak California English at all times. Living away from San Francisco has really taught me to appreciate the vernacular that only exists in the bay. Hence, Mac Dre, Too Short, backpack rap, rice rockets, drinking 40's, half cab flips, weird dreads, Haight Street, grimy ass coffee shops, riding the Muni, Carl's Jr, Safeway hot snacks, cold summers, etc etc.
The site claims 6,199,050 definitions since 1999! I guess Urban dictionary is like my online connection to somebody elses' California English? Or maybe they're just terms people invented last week that nobody uses in real life. This site is almost as entertaining as photoshopping my head in a toilet. Anyway here are a couple of curious terms I'd like to share:
A complete and utter moron. One who is stupid. Often one so stupid, they are compared to human feces.
"Hey shitiot, get off the grass."
When you are texting on your phone and you look suspicious.
"Yeah, he looks hella textspicious."
A "kanyate chop" is an assault on someone when they won't get out of your face when you're in an airport or other public place. You must then take their camera and destroy it because you're an angry, criminal brained, hatemonger and you can't control yourself.
Pictures of yourself, Naked.
"Juan admitted that he had jerked off to Lauren's n00dz."
A Gonzo Dong is a penis that bends, up or down, in a way to make it look like Gonzo's Nose.
n. Port-a-potty, a portable restroom
Chronchitis is bronchitis you get after smoking marijuana nonstop for a long ass time, like when youre stoned all week then you got chronchitis. Symptoms include excessive nasty sounding coughs, and haziness. Cure: lay off the bud for a few days.
The physical and often sexual attaction to non gender specific persons with both male and female gender traits - to be sexually attracted to Susan Boyle.
Iron Claw Skates (to Mac Dre's "Mac Who?")
Back in SF for the later holidays. T minus can't fuckin' wait.
Pier7 youtubes. Gotta' do it.
411: Epic roomies edition
Jeezus. I can't believe how bad this Celine campaign is? A totally uninspiring orange skateboard with bedazzled trucks that's missing like Monster Energy drink stickers is somehow appropriate next to a Celine bag? Tragic. As much of a fan of Juergen Teller as I am, this campaign is terrible. Kidult is pretty awesome for putting up the gayest words in skateboarding : "Sk8" on the front door of Celine's flagship store in Paris.