Saturday, April 20, 2013

UGLYBITCH


Getting called a "hipster" just isn't cutting it for me anymore. Especially when you are a black/latino dude with a weak camo jacket and a customized embroidered "BARF" hat trying to call me a hipster bitch. It's not flying.

Recently I decided to repair my out-of-functioning camcorder to perhaps begin filming again during some down time. Aside from some other shoe related projects, documentation has always been a hobby of mine. Whether it's photography, film, or the written word, I think documentation is important because they are all forms of expression. Aside from a viraling random rave video I filmed years ago, most of the things I have filmed involve skating with my friends.

I decided to "express" myself tonight and began a film project to document some of the outside "happenings" at the fish. An idea that was supported by friends/employees at the Fish. As I was about to leave to get a birthday slice with a friend, I noticed through the glossy doors, there was a group of individuals outside, freestyle posturing. I knew right away I had to get my video camera out. This was the time to record Ludlow street in 2013.

For around 20 minutes I recorded a pretty awesome, continuous collective freestyle sesh outside the doors of Max Fish. One of the biggest mistakes I make when I film is a) talking b) laughing or
c) pressing the stop button. When I film, I fantasize that I can be behind a concrete wall, observing things like an inconsequential fly on the wall. Afterall, shouldn't it be about the subjects and environment we film/photograph/document? So for the most part I try to keep my mouth shut no matter what.

Ironically enough, through my non-stop documentation of the partial evening, I was questioned by a stranger if I was filming a "vine". And this was while I was holding a pretty obvious bulky-ass camcorder with a fish eye on the sidewalk. Sorry dude- you're retarded. But maybe not as retarded as the other douchebag walking by with two girls, attesting that because I was holding a video camera, I was fulfilling an Asian stereotype. I didn't say shit. But you know I wanted to.

The thing is, I have all this, and more on film. And more shit on film that speaks to the relentless drunken stubborness of other dudes trying to "call me out" for generalized sentiments they project on me because of how I look.  AND! All because I decided to document life outside of a bar for less than an hour.

Getting called a "groupie" and "pretty ugly" by a drunk professional skateboarder who I'm not gonna name right now, but who is obviously a drunk fucking douchebag, is WEAK AS FUCK. But let's not forget I'm "just a woman" which he didn't fail to refer and condescend to. Yeah, go fuck yourself you child having, chauvinistic piece of drunk shit. And at this point, I'm not gonna lie I POPPED THE FUCKOFF. Skateboarder or not, as a human your suckitude is next level- congratulations.

I used to think I was crazy for magnetizing certain bullshit, but now I realize if I can just keep my finger off the pause button I might actually be able to capture some REAL SHIT on film. The shit I GO THROUGH that friends might think I exaggerate when I retell the situation might finally be experienced by them as well. Often times people tell me afterwards to "be above it" or that I'm "smarter" and why allow people to get a rise out of me? The thing is, I've definitely chilled out in my 20's, but as a woman even dealing with some of this is just STRAIGHT UP INAPPROPRIATE BULLSHIT. Don't project your non-ass getting 3:30am  blues on me. And yes, sometimes I will be "above it" and "smarter" but there are times where I'm just gonna straight up call you and your stupid fucking snap back out.

For better or for worse, it is what is. For a project that started out with an intent to objectively document one of my favorite bars with some of my favorite people, it is definitely shaping up to be a lot more complex than I thought.

BARF has a new face.

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