Wednesday, September 11, 2013


What started out as a simple facebook status update, I've opted to illustrate more on the heavy.

Let me set the scenario up:  two girls drinking SPARKLING ROSE by a window for maybe 10 minutes. Obviously an open douchebag invitation.

A dark haired guy with a flannel shirt and odd lengthed shorts rushes out of the dim lights and immediately seats himself next to me.

"WAS I INTERRUPTING?? (no time for human response)
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING SERIOUS.. (20 second pause) LIKE ABORTION, AM I RIGHT??" humorized this obvious douchebag.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

" MY INTENTIONS ARE PURE. ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE FRENCH GUYS? MY FRENCH FRIEND IS GOING TO BE BUMMED."

Wow. You fucking suck. You shitty, ever so failing, worst side dude ever. And don't worry, dedicated heavy discussion reader, heavy discussion was represented fully in those moments. It was repped so hard that he did leave after I ended his social amnesia with, " THIS IS YOUR CUE TO LEAVE."

But what I should have said from the beginning upon the word "ABORTION" was, " Well. No. We weren't talking about abortion. But now that you've brought it up I think you should go abort your fucking shitty self." By the way, who uses abortion as a fucking joke pick up line around the very people who will cut your fucking balls off in your sleep. Worst WING DUDE EVER. 

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